What it’s Like to be Stalked

I have had a stalker for four years, someone who is mentally ill and genuinely believes that he is in love with me. He is upset because I ‘disobeyed’ him, even though we never met. He is a pornography producer and con artist, and although 0% of his income is honest, his financial resources seem boundless. He has access to corrupt individuals and wireless cameras to film me naked and– I hate it. He spends his entire life — 24/7 — around the clock, monitoring my geolocation, my text messages, my phones calls, and paying people 6 and 7 digits to follow, mimic, taunt, intimidate, groom, insult, and harass me. I have changed my number and gotten five new phones. As hard as I try to move to a different home and outrun him (8 moves, 4 states), he finds me, finds new cleaning people to pay, new compromised people to exploit, new narratives to convince the boys, and new ways to harass me. He bullies me and he works HARD and incessantly at it. He is fiercely driven. He catfishes me. He pays guys to record me on dates. He broadcasts recordings of me. He films my intimate relationships. He pays people to stalk me around campus. I am not afraid of him anymore, but I hate it. It is exhausting and miserable.

I have never fully appreciated decent men (and women) before this. If you are an honest person — someone who doesn’t bother people, who doesn’t hurt people, who doesn’t ‘avenge’ people who don’t want to date you — please please please stay the same.

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