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The Pep talk I’ve been giving myself recently

My life is pretty great right now, but I’ve been hearing all this panic about not getting married before 30.  Did you see that article about why Kim Kardashian married Kris Humphries?  I thought that was interesting.





So here are some thoughts I’ve had on the topic of being single versus being married.  I thought I’d share it for any other single Mormon female approaching 30, or any female really.





1.There’s no shame in being single.  Being single is great and nothing to be ashamed of.  Do not get married out of desperation or fear.  Hold your head high and relish all the good things you have going for you. You have a lot.





2. Share your intellect.  I recently had a conversation with a friend and she was sharing her well-substantiated opinions on fiscal policy and politics in the last few decades.  I was enlightened and impressed.  I was also a little surprised because I’ve known her for a few years, but I’d never seen this side of her before.  I think women have a tendency to do this- hide our knowledge, expertise, or academic curiosity.





Find ways to share your learnings, not in a conceited way, but in a way that attracts opportunities and other learners.  Put yourself in places where you can both teach and learn.





In a relationship, you want someone who values your knowledge and experiences, not just your looks, fun conversational skills, or the fact that you can create babies (although these are all great things too).  Wear your brain on your sleeve; engage in thoughtful discourse.  Good things come from this.






3. Keep perspective.  Did you get this beaten into you at church growing up?  I totally did.  Keep an eternal perspective. Ann Romney mentioned it in her interview with the Washington Post, discussing her husband’s loss in 2012.  If you don’t get what you want, keep track of all the other things in your life now and down the road that might actually be just as important and meaningful as having a family, or whatever the thing is that you’re hoping for.






I hope this is helpful to you.  Last bit of advice: Make time for something fun this summer!




Shanban bananfran